Getting Back To Me

I used to LOVE to cook, like nothing excited me more than knowing that I got to spend the whole day in the kitchen making food for my family and friends. Not only did I enjoy the process, but also watching everyone enjoy the food that I made just gave me life. What happened? When did cooking become a chore rather than an outlet for my creativity? And not just cooking, but also painting, paddle boarding, quality time with my friends, starting Pinterest projects (emphasis on the word starting). What happened to ME? Where did I go? I feel like I am supposed to supply you with an answer to that question here, but honestly I’ve got nothing. If you were all “OMG me too, what did you do to fix it?” Sorry, I’ll keep you updated once I figure it out.

 
I feel like this is a common theme for parents or anyone who has a full plate, not just us Mamas. We get so busy tending to everything else that we forget to tend to ourselves. I know, you don’t have time for the workout, or meeting a friend for a glass of wine, or re-purposing your old dresser. Your schedule is jam packed and you really just don’t have the time and when you do you are tired, or is it just not a priority? I currently work full-time, have 2 kids, a husband, goals, and a home to take care of and it is a lot. I use the “I don’t have time” excuse more than ANYONE! You may use it to justify why you don’t workout, so it is really easy for me (someone who prioritizes fitness) to say just wake up 30 minutes early.  Simple right? no, if so we would all be swim suit models by now, it’s just not how we are wired. So when I complain that I don’t ever take any time for myself my husbands first reaction is “Go, I’ve got the kids.” There should be no hesitation right? I should just go, even if I just go for a walk on the beach, I should just go. But, I cant. My Mom guilt sets in and I start thinking about all of that time that I don’t spend with my baby while he is in daycare, about how our schedules limit any alone time that my husband and I get, how my daughter is away at her Dad’s house so often and I feel like I can’t leave them. This is a pretty lame excuse and I am almost embarrassed to admit it, but we all have excuses this one is just mine. That is all that they are, excuses, because if something is truly important to us we make time. I admit it, I am not a priority to me right now. 


This reminds me of a quick article by one of my favorite writers/pod-casters, Jason Pargin (aka David Wong). He words it a little differently and is a much better writer than I am, but here is a quick summary. Take a moment and list the 3 things that are most important to you. Now, think about your typical day, what did you do and how much time did you spend on each thing? Look at the 3 things that you spent the most time on, how do they compare to the 3 things that you value most? Do they line up or are they completely different? See those 3 things that you spend the most time on ARE the 3 things that you value the most, it just sounds better to say that God, family, and giving back to the community are most important. Click here for a link to the article if you want to check it out for yourself and get a better understanding of what I mean (warning he sometimes uses naught words, hence the title). 


So…now what? How do we make these 2 lists align? Yep, still no clue, but I have a good idea of where to start. If your thing that you just don’t have time for is exercise, start small, block off 10 minutes. Like actually write it on a calendar, and do it without making any excuses. My number one focus right now is my relationship with God, I just feel that if I start with him the rest will fall into place with some effort…I pray. Before I had DJ I started going to Starbucks for an hour or so every Saturday morning before the gym to read a weekly devotional. That time was very important to me so this is something that I will be making time for among a few other things.  God may not be your thing, you may be doing great in that area, but miss sewing or time with your friends, lets schedule time for that too. Tell a fried why you are struggling and let them help hold you accountable. I seriously just text a friend last week tell her to not let me bail next time we have plans. Don’t allow me to make an excuse, make me show up. Asking for help or even hinting that I am struggling anywhere in life is so hard for me, but that is why our friends are around besides to make us laugh. How great does it feel to help a friend in need? Pretty good right? Well, our friends want to feel good about helping us too. It took me 35 years, 11 months, and 8 days to figure that out. Now all I have to do is find the courage to ask….the struggle is real y’all. 


Anyway, this was supposed to be a recipe post, but the recipe post made me think of how much I miss cooking and down the rabbit hole we went. Oh and while we are down here might as well throw in my annoying vegan pitch. Switching up my diet has brought life back into me. It may be that I am excited about trying new recipes, but I am going with the fact our gut health controls our entire bodies including our mental health. A fog has definitely been lifted and I can understand why I have been in a funk for the past 10 years, now to fix it and be ME again. 


I originally wanted to post a quick and easy plant based dinner, but everyone keeps asking what is in my morning smoothie so here it is. A whole lot of goodness, that’s what’s in it. It has more than 1000 antioxidants and more than your daily vitamin C need. The sugar that I get from the fruit satisfies my sweet tooth and keeps me from wandering the halls at work looking for chocolate around 2 pm. I started with a quick recipe from How Not to Die by Dr. Greger and kind of made it my own. Hope you enjoy. 

Recipe: (Serves 2)

  • 2 Tablespoons Ground Flax Seed
  • 2 Teaspoons Amla Powder (dried gooseberry powder)
  • 2 Generous Pinches of White Tea Leaves
  • 4-5 Mint Leaves
  • 1 Ripe Banana
  • 1 Ripe Mango
  • 1 Ripe Kiwi
  • 1 Pitted Date
  • Handful of Kale
  • 4-5 Strawberries
  • 1/2 – 1 Cup Frozen Berries
  • 1/2 Cup Almond Milk
  • Ice (I usually add a handful)

Blend well in blender adding water as needed to achieve the desired consistency. Get creative by adding different fruits for new flavor combos.


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